Bernard Apfelbaum, PhD
PROFESSIONAL SEX FILMS & VIDEOS VERSUS SEXUAL REALITY
| The best representation
of sexual reality presently available in the professional literature is
Masters and Johnson's (1979, 64-81) report of their observations of the
sexual behavior of 307 committed heterosexual couples in the laboratory.
Chosen for their freedom from sexual difficulties, these couples nonetheless
revealed themselves to be just as constrained in sex as are the rest of
us. For example, "there were many times when women were made physically
uncomfortable by their husband's approaches to the breast." Although they
admitted this to Masters and Johnson, on only three occasions did a woman
ask her husband to be more gentle (out of thousands of observations) and
no woman ever asked her husband to stop. The same problem arose over early
and deep digital penetration of the vagina by their husbands, and the wives
again endured their discomfort rather than puncture their husband's illusions.
The most frequent complaint made to Masters and Johnson by the husbands
was that their wives did not grasp the shaft of the penis tightly enough.
Not one of the men had ever mentioned this to his wife.
Imagine a sex film or video based on these findings, perhaps titled Endurance. These normal (or better than normal) couples would be shown quietly suffering, afraid to say anything that might disturb their partner's concentration or might be taken as a slight. Of course, all of us recoil from this side of sexual reality (with the possible exception of alienated literary minds), but it is this difficulty empathizing with our own and our partner's reality that creates all of our sexual difficulties. This ego-analytic formulation is the basis of my revisionist approach to sex films. This difficulty recognizing sexual reality is reinforced by professional sex films and videos (of course, it is also reinforced by pornography, but that’s not news). Upbeat catalogues sent to sex therapists and educators describe what are, essentially, propaganda films and videos, their purpose being to indoctrinate the viewer with the sex-positive ideology. This is the view that there is truth in our loins if we would only let it out, or as I put it, “Sex is beautiful, it’s just people that ruin it.” What would professional sex films look like that did represent reality? To answer this question I have produced a revisionist film catalogue, with the titles and descriptions of 11 films offered by Didjacome Films, Inc. |
| 1. The Latin Lover. This film is based on a play that
was popular in Rio de Janeiro in 1979. A married man has a sexual encounter
while on a business trip. He contracts gonorrhea. When he returns his wife
passionately demands sex. This puts him in a terrible dilemma. He cannot
reveal his extramarital contact and he cannot reveal the fact that he has
gonorrhea. On the other hand, what other good reason could he have for refusing
sex with his wife? He has no alternative but to go ahead and infect her.
In our modification of this plot, the wife does not want sex either, having
contracted gonorrhea from her lover, but she thinks her husband wants her
to act as though she is passionately desirous and so she feels she has no
choice. We have also added a short film to the end of The Latin Lover which shows how this man could easily have avoided sex with his wife. It is titled Pretending to be Drunk. It also includes a section for those needing to refuse sex for extended periods; this section is called Pretending to be an Alcoholic. 2. The Inquiring Finger. This short film is based on a prototypic scene described by Van de Velde in his classic Ideal Marriage (1930, 167). He says that if in response to the inquiring hand, the female partner keeps her thighs together, the male partner should back off and retrace his steps. If, when he returns, he gains "access," he should use the inquiring finger to determine whether she is aroused. If she is dry, he should do clitoral stimulation until the inquiring finger comes up moist.The woman is simulated by a lifelike rubber doll as this best illustrates the nature of the interaction. 3. Conscientiousness. This film is in two parts. Part I shows a woman stimulating her partner's genitals. It requires an hour for him to reach orgasm. In Part II we see a man performing oral sex continuously for over an hour, although he fails to induce the desired result. He is shown telling his partner that he enjoyed doing it anyway, and also trying to straighten out his neck. This is one of our least popular films. 4. Getting There. This film is designed for the teenage boy and is in three parts: (1) Getting to first base ( 2 ) Getting to home plate, and (3 ) Popping out to the infield. This film is ideal for the teenage boy since he has to know how to get to home plate. This information is not relevant to the teenage girl since she is home plate. 5. More Getting There. This film was inspired by Alex Comfort's Joy of Sex (1972, p. 56 ) . In it he advises that “each partner, moreover, should practice removing the clothes of the other sex without clumsiness or holdups, and preferably with one hand." In this film we see two partners removing each other's clothes with one hand, blindfolded, and under water. 6. Honey, It Will Just Take a Minute. This is another
one of our most unpopular films. At bedtime a husband pleads with his wife
for a quickie but she refuses. He argues that he has a big business deal
the next day and if he is not up for it they will not be able to make their
mortgage payments and may lose the old homestead. His wife argues that
it has been only four days since the last time, and that he has always
let her go for five. He then scales his demand down to 30 seconds of manual
stimulation. She agrees on the condition that she can do it with her back
turned.
7. Beyond Linda Lovelace. Linda Lovelace, in her book, Inside Linda Lovelace (1981), reveals that she did not want to make Deep Throat and, in fact, hated doing it, but only realized this two years later. In this fictionalized version she never realizes it. 8. Afterglow, the New Climax. This film shows how to prolong afterglow. A couple is shown enjoying afterglow for six hours following intercourse and orgasm. This film was made by Andy Warhol. 9. Sex is Communication. This is one of our most
practical films. It shows how sex is the best form of communication. A
couple is shown communica-
10. How to Ask for Sex. In The Sensuous Man (1971, 124), "M" advises the man (he is the one who asks for sex) not to ask for sex directly since women are not ready yet. He suggests using a signal, like "turning off a light or two," or, "You might take off your shoes, sigh, and lie back on the couch." In this film, the husband follows this advice, but his wife appears not to notice. He then sneaks his shoes back on, once again taking them off, sighing, and lying back on the couch. After he repeats this several times, his wife makes a mental note to find an intimate moment in which to tell him that he should buy a new pair of shoes. 11. The Advantages of Orgasm. This true-to-life film exposes the way that a couple can have sex when neither of them desires it, although each thinks that the other wants it. She first touches him and he feels obliged to touch her back, which makes her feel the need to reassure him with a hug, which makes him feel compelled to reciprocate. As we follow this couple through foreplay and coitus, we see the advantage of orgasm, that is, male orgasm. It puts an end to the sex act. |
|
|
I am sure that the
professional sex-film makers are well aware of these sexual realities,
but they think that these are distortions of sex. They think that if people
would only let go and be natural that all these distortions of sex would
be eliminated. They are not alone in this belief. Few people think that
what actually goes on in sex is the reality of sex.
So with the intent of liberation, sex-film makers discredit the reality of the audience. Those who are able to make the hoped-for identification may enjoy the films. They are likely to be the same people who enjoy pornography. However, it is the people who feel upstaged by the sex-film figures and who are oppressed by both pornographic films and professional sex films who are the ones we need to reach, and they may be in the majority.These people are not likely to find fault with the films, only with themselves for not being able to be like the people in them. |
REFERENCES
| Comfort, A. The Joy of Sex. New York: Crown, 1972.
Lovelace, Linda. Inside Linda Lovelace. New York: Grove Press, 1981. "M." The Sensuous Man. New York: Dell, 1971. Van de Velde, T. H. Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology and Technique. New York:Random House, (1926) 1930 |