2.  Instead of saying, "If Jack really felt guilty about what he did he’d make amends," 
     say, "Jack may feel so guilty he can’t make amends."

3.  Instead of saying, "Jill sees all men as like her father," say, "Jill has been sensitized 
     to all the ways men are like her father."

4.  Instead of saying, "Fred is passive-aggressive," meaning that he is really being hostile
     but denying it or acting innocent, say the same thing, but mean that Fred suffers 
     from being too passive and unable to be directly hostile.

5.  Instead of saying, "Jimmy Swaggart’s having sex with a prostitute is an example of
     sexuality breaking through repression," say, "Jimmy Swaggart’s having sex with a
     prostitute is an example of repression," meaning that repression typically results in 
     symptomatic (uncontrolled) over-expression.

6.  Instead of saying, "Jane is too dependent," say, "Jane is unable to be effectively 
     dependent."

7.  Instead of saying, "George is a narcissistic," say, "George is doing a poor job of 
     impressing people, which is why we see him as narcissistic."

8.  When Frank says, "Well, I only act the way I do with Helen because she treats me 
     the way she does," say, "I’m sure you are right, and so would she be if she said the 
     same thing."

9.  If Henry acts like he has a victim mentality, you lose your chance to be an ego 
     analyst if you tell him that there are no victims, only people avoiding responsibility. 
     You can be an instant ego analyst if you realize that your impulse to tell him that 
     reflects his inability to be convincing about his plight, meaning that he is already 
     secretly condemning himself for acting like a victim.